Philanthropists will continue to donate, but don’t want invites to fancy fundraising parties

Philanthropists will continue to donate, but don’t want invites to fancy fundraising parties


DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I receive several invitations a year to events held by organizations to which we donate. These events are either one-on-one lunches or cocktail party-type events in recognition of the organization’s accomplishments over the past year. They are also held in recognition of major donors, which we are not.

I have zero interest in attending such events. I intensely dislike dressing up, socializing with people I don’t know (and don’t wish to know), and giving up an entire evening. My partner enjoys it even less.

I realize the organizations’ goal is to create a more personal relationship with us, but we are not interested. I have become rather a hausfrau since COVID, and while I get out to some social events, two or three per month is my limit.

You’d think after years of declining, they’d get the hint, but I keep getting personalized emails or phone calls to attend. Can I just admit I dislike dressing up and socializing, and request no such further invitations?

GENTLE READER: No, because they might start asking you to non-dressy events.

Miss Manners would think that saying, “We’re happy to donate, but please take us off your social list” would work, if they are paying attention. Surely it would be a relief to the organization to have fewer people to entertain.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.



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